Would You Know What to Do?

A dear friend of mine called me the other night. I could immediately tell that she was upset. As soon as I acknowledged her distress, she began to cry. She asked me how she could tell if she was experiencing depression. She then went on to tell me that she has been crying a lot and doesn’t know why. She also said that she fears treatment and medication. I could hear a clear sense of shame and fear in her voice. And, she was looking to me for help.

I won’t lie—I was a bit overwhelmed at first. I’m not a trained physician. But through the grace of God and my amazing organization, J&J, I received Mental Health First Aid Training just a month ago. In that program, I learned how to identify, understand and respond to signs of mental illness.

First off, I highlighted the reality that many of us throughout our lifetime will experience a mental illness at some point. I emphasized that it’s way more common than we talk about, and that the brain is just like any other organ in the body when it comes to needing support.

In response, she shared how much she’s working these days and that the pressures of life seem overwhelming.

“As women, we think we need to be a superwoman,” I told her. “But, we’re not. We are only human and sometimes we just can’t master it all. And that’s okay.”

Then I reflected on the Mental Health First Aid Action Plan that I learned.

Here are the steps.

1. Assess for harm or suicide risk
2. Listen without judgement
3. Provide information and reassurance
4. Encourage professional support
5. Encourage self-help ideas and strategies

Thankfully she wasn’t in a space of harm or suicide. It’s important to be direct with this question and not assume. When I asked her if she wanted to harm herself or not be here anymore, she immediately said no, so I just listened to her without judgment and provided her with information and my reassurance. (Just a note that my resource page has a link to NAMI that outlines the signs of depression.)

We then moved on to getting her support. She had already made an appointment to see her primary doctor the next day, which was a massive initial step she did on her own. I praised her for that courageous action.

“That’s exactly what you needed to do,” I told her. “Your doctor knows you best and can guide you from here.”

We then talked about activities that maybe she could “sit out” to reduce her overwhelm.

That call sobered me. The reality is that we all need to be there for each other, and to have these courageous conversations without shame. That’s the only way more people will get the treatment they need.